Ma’Chi at The Child Center’s Evening Celebrating Resilience
Like everyone, I’ve been through a lot of challenges. Before I was placed into the RTF [Child Center Residential Treatment Facility], I made mistakes I shouldn’t have.
I was 11 years old when my mom passed away. A few years later, my stepfather passed. After multiple foster care placements, I was adopted by my uncle and his wife. Living there was hard as well, especially because I wasn’t with my sister. I was so used to taking care of her—I used to cook for her, traveled two or three miles to get her from school, and made sure to be there for her in whatever ways I needed to be—I didn’t know how to take care of myself.
I started missing school and, unfortunately, resorted to violence. I was not able to express my feelings well, and there was an incident of violence at school that really changed me. Someone talked about my mom and a family member in a way that ticked me off, and I reacted in a way that wasn’t fit. Now I’m here.
You might think I’m unhappy about that. But it’s better than being in jail. It’s better than being six feet under. I’m thankful I’m here instead of anywhere else. That’s because I’ve come to understand this placement as a stepping stone to get better in life.
My first experience with therapy was here. It was challenging. I wasn’t used to talking about my feelings or things of that nature. You start talking to somebody, and you’re like, who is this person? I don’t really know them. But as time goes on, you get used to talking about your feelings and realize how helpful it is. I’m so thankful for that. I found new ways of looking at things and coping with challenges.
I found arts and crafts helped me express myself. I wasn’t a very good drawer before I came here. Ms. Nina [Grae, Arts Expansion Coordinator] and Ms. Victoria [Ortiz, RTF Activity and Events Coordinator] helped me be able to draw and write songs and poetry. I wrote a poem, “A Letter from Heaven,” and drew a picture of my mom and stepfather.
I’m also an athlete. I’ve been playing ball forever, and I’ve gotten better at ball since I was here. Whenever I’m on the court, everything just goes away: I’m focused on that, and that only, and that’s a good coping skill for me.
One of the most important things I’ve accomplished here is keeping an empathetic mindset in my heart. I try my best every day. I don’t let other people’s challenges faze me. I just let them fly by, because everyone has a reason. Everyone has their problems, and who am I to judge somebody, knowing that I was worse than them? I’m in no state to judge anybody around me, because I don’t know what they’re going through, just as they don’t know what I’m going through. Everything everyone does is deeper than the surface level. I started to realize that sometimes people will treat me how they treat me because of something they’re going through, and that’s helped me manage my feelings better.
And no matter how hard things got, I always kept my mom’s message in my heart. She believed in me, and I always strive to do better, in school and in my relationships with other people, and live up to that.
When a lot of kids first arrive at the RTF, they don’t understand what it is to be here. I can tell you from experience that it’s a better place. The therapists do nothing but help. And they are really genuine. They do family sessions as well for me and my uncle and my sister. That’s been an important thing for me because my sister just graduated eighth grade. I got to see her before she graduated, and that made me happy. Being here doesn’t mean that you don’t get to see your family. You get to work on your relationships with them, which has meant so much to me.
I’ll be starting 11th grade in September, and I’m feeling excited about the future. I don’t know what I want to do yet. First, I want to be a motivational speaker. I’m interested in being an astrophysicist as well; I love space and science. But I always have a plan B, and I want to play basketball overseas because I like traveling and exploring new things. Whatever I do, I know the path I want to take is helping people. I speak from the heart and have thought about being a psychologist who goes into foster homes to lend a helping hand to kids like me. I definitely want to go to college, and my top choices are Rutgers and NYU.
The RTF provides a Summer Youth Employment Program, which allows us to learn about jobs and internships so that when we leave here, we can get a job. I feel like that’s very helpful. Kids like me, we don’t know where to start when it comes to jobs. Sometimes the situations aren’t ideal, where you have a guardian to just easily sign your working papers, and then, boom, you have a job. It’s not that easy all the time. So now you can have a therapist or your transitional coordinator sign the papers because they have the right to, and you can get a job.
My job here is administrative assistant to Ms. Nina. I like to be an open worker and help wherever I’m needed. We had a cookout for Juneteenth where all the families came. I did everything from event setup to making books for the families to read. I’m gaining a lot of skills, and I’m happy to do my part and give back. I try to be generous with my time and energy, because no one can do it alone.
