Tag Archives: client story

La Historia de Lorena

Lorena and her family. The three children have all been students at Escalera Head Start.

De izquierda a derecha: Cándido (padre); Jennifer, de 7 años; Ximena, de 9 años; Lorena; Alexis, de 4 años. Lorena sostiene el certificado de premio de Alexis por juegos de rompecabezas.

English Version

“Tengo tres hijos que han sido estudiantes en Escalera Early Childhood. Mis hijas estuvieron en el programa hace un par de años. Mi hijo comenzó en Early Head Start de Escalera cuando tenía dos años y ahora está en la clase UPK. Comenzará el jardín de infantes en el otoño.

Todos mis hijos no son tan tímidos como antes. Mejoraron en el aprendizaje de la escritura, en el aprendizaje del abecedario y en la participación en todos los libros que leyeron.  

Yo también mejoré como padre. Escalera me ayudó a hablar con mi hijo cuando estaba llorando, y pronto dejó de llorar. Me ayudaron a ayudar a mi hijo a compartir cosas, recoger el desorden, comer, vestirse, ir al baño y cruzar la calle cuando van al parque a divertirse, el equipo de Escalera me ayudó con todas estas cosas, me ayudó a ver cuánto podía ayudar a mis hijos a hacer.  

Escalera ofrece muchas maneras de apoyarnos con la crianza de los hijos, y yo aproveché muchas de ellas. Estoy en el Comité de Padres, lo cual decidí hacer para poder retribuir al programa, organizar eventos y tener experiencia en un comité como este. Participé en las excursiones de la clase Health Bucks al mercado de agricultores, donde podía elegir frutas y verduras saludables para mi familia, y en las actividades del aula. Disfruté participando en las actividades de la clase ayudando a hacer las piñatas para cada una de las clases.  

Una cosa que estoy muy contenta de haber hecho, fue asistir a ParentCorps, que Escalera ofrece en el centro. ParentCorps me ayudó a ser más paciente con mis hijos, a ayudarlos a controlar sus rabietas y su ira. Aprendes muchas maneras de criar a tu hijo de una manera diferente a cuando creciste. 

¡Mis hijas están en 2º y 3º grado ahora y les va muy bien! El programa los preparó para el jardín de infantes, y ahora sé que mi hijo estará preparado y listo para hacerlo bien. Los maestros ayudan hablando mucho con los niños, haciéndoles saber que son adultos y que van a cambiar de escuela y de maestro. Ayudan a los niños a escribir su nombre, a saber los números y el abecedario, y a compartir cosas.  

Escalera es una muy buena escuela, con buenos profesores que ayudan mucho a los niños. Son muy pacientes y no tienes que preocuparte de que te juzguen. Simplemente te ayudan a ser el mejor padre que puedes ser para tus hijos.”


Lorena’s Story

From left to right: Candido (dad); 7-year-old Jennifer; 9-year-old Ximena; Lorena; 4-year-old Alexis. Lorena is holding Alexis’ certificate of award for puzzle games.

“I have three children who have been students at Escalera Early Childhood. My daughters were in the program a couple of years ago. My son started in Escalera Early Head Start when he was two years old and now he is in the UPK [universal pre-kindergarten] class. He will be starting kindergarten in the fall.  

All my children are not as shy as they were. They improved in learning to write, learning their ABCs, and participating in every book they read.  

I improved as a parent too. Escalera helped me talk to my son when he was crying, and he soon stopped crying. They helped me to help my son share things, pick up clutter, eat, get dressed, go to the bathroom, and cross the street when they go to the park to enjoy themselves. The Escalera team helped me with all these things, helped me see how much I could help my children do.  

Escalera offers many ways to support us with parenting, and I took advantage of many of them. I am on the Parent Committee, which I decided to do so I could give back to the program, organize events, and have experience being on a committee like this. I participated in Health Bucks class field trips to the farmer’s market, where I could choose healthy fruits and vegetables for my family, and in the classroom activities. I enjoyed participating in the class activities of helping to make the piñatas for each of the classes.  

One thing I am really glad I did was attend ParentCorps, which Escalera offers at the center. ParentCorps helped me to be more patient with my children, to help them control their tantrums and their anger. You learn many ways to raise your child in a different way than when you grew up. 

My daughters are in second and third grade now and doing so well! The program prepared them for kindergarten, and now I know my son will be prepared and ready to do well. The teachers help by talking to the children a lot, letting them know that they are grown up, and that they are going to change schools and teachers. They help the children write their name, know the numbers and ABCs, and share things.  

Escalera is a very good school, with good teachers who help the children a lot. They are very patient and you don’t have to worry they will judge you. They just help you be the best parent you can be for your children.”  

Jonathan’s Story

Below is a speech that Jonathan delivered during the ribbon-cutting ceremony of the Cohen Family Wellness Center. You can listen to additional thoughts that Jonathan shared during an interview with amNY, above. Credit: amNY, Kyle Sweeting, and Jason Schwartz.

Hello everyone, my name is Jonathan, and I have been involved with The Child Center for about three years.

To begin my journey, I started with Zoom calls due to the pandemic and restrictions placed by COVID-19. The resources provided by The Child Center helped with resolving many of the issues I was suffering from and helped me overcome major challenges that were tied to my anxiety.

It took me a while to warm up to my therapist due to the unusual circumstances, but when I became comfortable, that’s when my journey decided to pick up speed.

When I went to the clinic for the first time, I was tense and overwhelmed. Due to the country opening up and returning from a remote environment to an in-person environment, I was on edge and all over the place. I was worried that I would lose all the progress I had made during the Zoom sessions. But my therapist helped me ease my worries and helped me with my transition to this new life.

At the time, I was scared of everything happening around me, afraid of change, and intimidated by the smallest challenges that life presented. Although these problems never seem to cease, the ways to manage these stressors were some skills that I would eventually pick up in my therapy sessions.

Jonathan with Amazin' Mets representatives at the Cohen Family Wellness Center in Woodside, Queens

Jonathan (second from left) at the grand opening of the Cohen Family Wellness Center. Learn more: childcenterny.org/photo-of-the-month-cohen-family-wellness-center/

The [Cohen] Family Wellness Center created the resources necessary for my improvement. I felt like I had no cure, and although it seemed like that at the time, I would later be proven wrong.

I learned that I was not the only person to have these uncomfortable symptoms. I was not the only person to live this type of way. I was not alone in this struggle.

This sense of belonging would bring me great comfort, allowing optimism back into my life once again. This place helped me grow, helped me change into someone that I am proud to be.

I would have never imagined the progress I would have made; it still amazes me today.

I would like to happily share that due to the progress I made at this place, I was able to accomplish some achievements that I could have never possibly imagined. This would include my role as valedictorian for my class of 2023, and being a Macaulay Scholar attending Queens College in the fall, majoring in psychology to pursue a passion of being a therapist or clinical psychologist. This passion was inspired by my time at The Child Center.

To end things off, I would like to thank my therapist, Abraham, and my psychiatrist, Dr. Yang, along with my parents and siblings who supported me through this journey. I do not know what type of person I would be without them.

Thank you.

National Foster Care Month Spotlight: Karriem

Karriem, a client of our Prevention and Family Support Flushing program, reads to his children during National Foster Care Month.

Karriem, a client of our Prevention and Family Support Flushing program, reads to his children during National Foster Care Month.May is National Foster Care Month, an observance that has special meaning at The Child Center of NY. The Child Center operates four Prevention and Family Support programs for families with children at risk of abuse, neglect, or foster care placement, or who simply need help with parenting challenges. The hardworking employees in these programs work tirelessly and holistically to give parents and other caregivers the tools, support, and confidence to raise their children in a safe and nurturing environment—now and in the future.

One of these parents, whose case was successfully closed last month due to achievement of goals, is Karriem. Continue reading

Christopher’s Story

Christopher, a graduate of Flushing Young Adult Borough Center (YABC)

During COVID, I worked construction during the day and did my schoolwork online in the nights.

When it was time to go back to regular [in-person] school, I didn’t want to go back. I was a senior, but I didn’t have enough credits to graduate on time. I wanted to drop out. But my guidance counselor, Mr. Baglio, told me, hey, would you like to join this program that helps you get your credits? He explained to me about Flushing YABC [Young Adult Borough Center at Flushing High School], which is a school for students like me.

At first, I didn’t want to hear anything about it. I was already working and didn’t want to do school anymore. But Mr. Baglio convinced me. He said they [the YABC staff] would support me and work with my schedule. I took the offer and went to YABC.

I’d get up at 5 a.m., go to my construction job, and then go to YABC right after at 3 p.m. It was killing me because I also had a night shift job. Eventually I got a job at a bagel shop—went in to work at 5 [a.m.], out by 2 [p.m.], went to school from 3-8:30. But I was struggling to pay my bills. I had a lot of difficulty around that time. I got kicked out of my house. In my culture, parents are often quick to judge and not really listen. I was going to give up on school. I was done.

The only thing that stopped me was Ms. Peña. Ms. Peña was my primary contact at YABC. Every single time I thought about dropping out, she’d remind me I was almost done. She’d say, Chris, you got this, don’t give up; you are going to finish high school. She was always there to listen and help me with solutions. When I told her about my job situation, she helped me find a job at FHS [Flushing High School] that fit into my schedule. It was a paid internship through the Learning to Work program. I worked with Mr. Max in the IT department of FHS doing inventory. He helped me develop business wise. I didn’t know how to communicate, how to speak to someone in an office. Now I’ve worked with a lot of staff at FHS. Teachers know me very well. I got a lot of respect from them, and they told me that they would help me with getting a job if I ever needed it.

Ms. Peña also helped me figure out what I wanted to do after high school. She had people come in to talk to us about different jobs, what they do day to day. There were people who had jobs in business, real estate … and a police officer. Becoming a police officer kind of hit me as something I want to do. He said that it’s always good just to help the community. A lot of Hispanic people don’t understand English very well, they need help sometimes, and it’s good to help the community. That’s something that interested me. He gave me ideas to organize myself a little better, talked about college. I took his advice. I decided to go to Queensborough Community College to study criminal justice. I’m starting my first semester now. I’m doing that!

I am where I am because of Ms. Peña. I cried to her when I graduated. I couldn’t believe I really did it!

I also want to thank Mr. Max. When I started in the technology room with Mr. Max, I was used to carpentry, not computers. I told him, I’m slow, you’re going to get frustrated with me. But he taught me everything. I took inventory on 500 computers! He taught me new things every day. It feels good to learn! I always thought, I’ll stick to construction, but you know what? It’s always good to learn.

To read more about Flushing YABC, see this Q&A with Program Director Jaimee Diehl and this spotlight on YABC’s career fair.

Update, October 2023: Christopher is now a first-year student at Queensborough Community College, and he sent us this update:

“My first semester of college was fun, but, at the same time, very stressful trying to fit in with a lot of new people. Most of my professors were nice and great at teaching. I just didn’t pass algebra and will have to retake it next semester. It’s fine. .. I think I learned [better] this semester! I got good grades aside from that. My second semester was much better. I met a lot of people, thanks to the soccer team.

I was able to represent the Tigers (Queensborough community college men’s soccer team) with number 23 this year, becoming QCC’s center back. Being part of this team really showed me a lot of things, from celebrating wins to also knowing how to lose as a team. There are many things that still must get fixed within the team, but we can work on that next semester. Honestly speaking, college can be fun when you make it fun, but it can also be a pain when you’re not doing what must be done. There’s a lot of things that need to be learned and worked on, one step at a time. My goal is finishing school with a criminology degree and to be able to join the NYPD. There’s still many steps to get there, but as long as it’s rolling towards that direction, I’m fine. Good things take a long time to make.”

Keim’s Story

Keim and his dance team at basie beacon m.s. 72

Keim and his fellow B2 Dancerettes performed in the M.S. 72 Basie Beacon program’s Black History Showcase. Back row from left to right: Crystal, Jaylah, Jalayah, Brianna, Leah, and Savannah. Front row: Keim and Nevaeh

My name is Keim, and I’m 14 years old. I started M.S. 72 in September 2019 when I was in sixth grade. I joined The Child Center of NY Beacon afterschool program as well.

I can admit that I was not the best student in school or afterschool, and I can admit that I made a lot of bad decisions. I used to feel that fighting people was cool because it made me fit in, and people accepted me. I would bully people, instigate, and provoke others. I maintained failing grades, but I didn’t care.

Then in 2021, I developed a love for dance with The Child Center of NY afterschool dance program. All the things I didn’t care about suddenly meant the world to me. It was during this time that I realized that I was now in the eighth grade and I needed to care more about myself and my future. Several people helped me reach this decision. All of a sudden, I realized how so many people in my life who were giving me guidance were so right about everything. My sixth-grade teacher, Ms. Cannon, would always tell me how I was worth more than fighting someone every day. My dance instructor in afterschool, Daquan Harris, really opened my eyes more than anyone.

I still struggle with my school work and attendance; my grades were still failing from the beginning of this school year. My dance instructor learned about this problem and worked with me to resolve the issues. For the first time in the history of my middle school experience, I passed all of my classes on my last report card. Funny but true, if I didn’t pass, my dance instructor told me that I would not be able to be on the dance team. Not being on the team was not an option because I love to dance. It’s the only way I feel that I can express myself.

Nyomi’s Story

Nyomi was a resident of The Child Center Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) from July 2020-June 2021. Severe aggressive behaviors, self-injurious behaviors, and poor social skills had led to dangerous situations, and Nyomi found herself involved in the juvenile justice system at 15 years old. The Office for Children and Family Services (OCFS) referred Nyomi to The Child Center RTF. Below is her story, in her own words.

Nyomi, a client of the child center residential treatment facility (RTF) in Brooklyn I live in Poughkeepsie, New York, with my mom and five siblings. I am the oldest.

I live there now, and I lived there before, but for a year I lived at The Child Center of NY RTF.

I was sent there because I was running away and got locked up. I don’t want to talk about why I was running away. I would get mad and just leave. The last time, they gave me two choices: go to a secure facility or go to the RTF, where I could do home visits. I requested the RTF.

At first, I was really nervous, but then I realized it wasn’t that bad. My first day there, I met Youth Advocates Taheem Powell, Geraldine Lelanne, Jennifer Perez, and Brian Louis. They showed me they actually cared. If I was going through stuff, I could talk to any of them. They were always there for me. I could tell them my secrets, about how I was feeling, and they wouldn’t tell anybody, they would just help me. I could say, “Can I talk to you?” to any of them — Jennifer and Brian, and also Dolores Davis and Unit Leaders Jackie German and Rasheim Smith… all my favorite staff — and they would say yes.

 I had individual therapy and family therapy at the RTF. I learned to manage my thoughts by using coping skills and expressing my feelings instead of running away or hurting anybody.

 Things with my mom are much better. She says I improved a whole lot — a complete 180! At family therapy sessions, we talked about what caused me to end up in placement, and what I needed to do to return home and remain home. And now I’m home! I’ve been free from self-harm for not only the three months pre-discharge, but also following discharge. I worked at a local farm over the summer. Now I’m a senior in my old high school, after going to school at the RTF,* where I did really well. I took geometry, algebra, and other classes. I was promoted to 12th grade, and I am going to graduate early! I’m glad I’m going to get to graduate from my old school.

I’ve been at home for five months now. I stay connected to my Credible Messenger and am continuing therapy and working toward my life’s goals. I want to become a veterinarian because I love animals.

 Back then — before I went to the RTF — to now, I’ve really improved. Before, when I got mad, I just left and didn’t come back. Now, I ask my mom, “Can I go somewhere?” and she says yes or no. If she says no and I get mad, I can go to my room and look at my phone or call one of my friends. I’m more responsible, and we get along more. My mom, she’ll talk to me about things. She says she knows what to do if I give her a problem — but it’s rare now.

 

*During Nyomi’s time at the RTF, she attended school on site through the NYC Department of Education. The RTF is unique in this way, as Nyomi was able to receive special education services through the DOE while receiving support from milieu staff.

Jiaxin’s Story

I came to The Child Center of NY when I was 14. Five years later, I’ve come a long way to be where I am now, talking about my journey and my healing through therapy. Some of it is hard to talk about, and some of it I have a hard time remembering, as a symptom of my post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s difficult to look back to the memories I do have, because I’ve matured a lot and have become a very different person. I can hardly imagine being the girl I was back then.

I started therapy at The Child Center’s Flushing Clinic as a result of a referral from my school. I felt lonely and empty. Everybody I knew called me weird, and I had no friends. To some, I may have just seemed edgy, but I had been suicidal and imagined different ways to kill myself. Now those feelings seem impossible. The helplessness I felt at the time seems so far away when I look back, as if I had dreamed it up.

My mother is a Chinese immigrant, and my father is a Hispanic American. When I was six, my mother left him due to the physical and emotional abuse she, my brother, and I had been subject to. We moved from shelter to shelter, and I transferred from school to school, where I was ridiculed and bullied by my classmates. At home, I resented my mother for her favoritism of my older brother. In Chinese families, the first-born son is always the favorite, and the women always come second. It was hard to connect to my mother anyway; we had different ideals. I was a self-described “daddy’s girl” at the time, and I idolized my father and thought that he was the only one who really understood me. But he had never been financially responsible or emotionally available for my needs. I was enmeshed in multilayered ethnic and cultural conflicts, value systems, and moral confusion. I trusted no one and did not identify with my peers. I didn’t even relate to my family.

Then I met my therapist who, through talking and sharing my thoughts, I created a bond of trust with. She was also a bridge that connected my mother and me, as she was Chinese and could understand the more traditional values of being Chinese. She helped me reconcile some aspects of being a Chinese American. Suddenly I didn’t feel so left out, especially as someone who wasn’t fully Chinese. I developed a sense of hope through her acceptance of who I was and was getting better.

However, the road to becoming stronger than my depression or anxiety was far from over. My paternal aunts denied my mental illness and tried to violently exorcise me. It is one of the darkest moments in my life, and to this day it still affects me. I had my physical and emotional control ripped from my hands, and my support cut off completely. I attempted suicide twice. I worked through the challenges I faced in the aftermath with my therapist — the nightmares and all, and through that I became stronger than what I felt. I cut contact completely with my paternal family, and I started to heal. Wounds became scabs, became scars.

But my story doesn’t end there. Even though I was improving every step of the way — my grades were up, I was volunteering and working in summer, and I was even applying to college — I had also been slowly piecing together, through journaling and voice recording, some scattered traumatic memories. And even though I still doubt it sometimes, there is undeniable evidence that my father sexually molested and abused me in some way when I was a child. I will probably never know what happened in detail, nor do I ever want to. But it was truly a milestone revelation. I experienced a therapeutic catharsis through finding and talking about it, but I would have never gotten this far without the trust I had in my therapist. I would have never verbalized the doubts and fears I had otherwise. And without her support through the aftermath, knowing that she would be there if I felt depressed, I don’t know how I would have coped.

As I worked through my feelings and emotions, I began to change my outfit and diet, and soon I began looking like your average teenager. I started to focus on better things in life, things that I had always loved, like animals. I started meeting new friends, I came closer to terms with the multicultural conflict in my life, and I even grew out of my brother’s shadow. Soon I graduated high school and started my first year at Hunter College. Currently I am in my second year of college, majoring in psychology with a concentration in animal behavior. I’ve made so many new friends, and I’m excited to see what life has in store for me.

Veronica’s Story

Growing up, things were tough. My parents are immigrants from Ecuador and worked where and when they could. For a lot of my childhood, my mom worked in a factory and my dad did construction. They’d come home at 7 or 8 o’clock, leaving my older sister and me alone. Sometimes I spent days in the library.

My older brother had stayed behind in Ecuador, and it was so tough on them to be apart from him like that, but then the unthinkable happened — he died. The family members in Ecuador who were taking care of him were very closed-mouthed about it, but they said he drowned. My parents never got over it, and it was the main event that impacted their whole lives. My dad had always been a drinker, but after my brother’s death, he became an alcoholic.

With my parents heartbroken and hardly around, my sister and I basically had to raise ourselves. No one was there to help me with my homework, or make sure I did it. They never attended my school plays or parent-teacher conferences. They did attend one conference, but because they don’t understand English well, I had to translate, and it just seemed like a waste of time.

Time was a weird factor in my childhood, with my parents having not enough of it and my sister and me spending too much of it alone. We became rebels. We started hanging out with what people call gang members, going out dancing with much older guys. I was 12.

My sister ended up pregnant at 13, and I wasn’t far behind.

While we were out dancing, I met my boyfriend, who was about 5 years older. We did everything together. After my sister had my niece, my mother stayed home to help take care of the baby, and she suddenly started taking notice of what I was doing. But it was too late. She set a curfew, which I ignored. She’d say, “Don’t you be like your sister,” and it annoyed me so much. I’d be like, “I’m not like her,” and just slam the door. I was working as a tutor, earning 50 dollars a week, which gave me a lot of freedom. I had a phone that I paid for myself and felt like I didn’t need anyone—anyone except my boyfriend, that is.

We broke up about a month after we started dating, and I was heartbroken. I couldn’t imagine life without him anymore. Being a girl who doesn’t have her mother’s or father’s care, I was trying to find love elsewhere. We got back together, and two months later, I was the one who was pregnant.

I cried day and night. I didn’t tell my parents until I was in my fifth or sixth month. When I finally told them, it was a whole big issue. The hospital called the Administration for Children’s Services and got an order of protection against my boyfriend. I was so used to seeing him every day, and now I couldn’t see him at all. I felt like I didn’t want my baby, because he was the one who’d taken my boyfriend away — if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, I’d still be able to see my boyfriend. That’s what I was thinking.

I was so depressed and wasn’t doing well, relationship-wise, with others. It was a dark time, but thankfully, I had The Child Center of NY to help me through it. My sister had been referred to the home visiting program when she started abusing alcohol after the birth of my niece. Her home visitor saw what was going on with me and thought I could benefit from the program, too. She was right.

My caseworker referred me to therapy with a Child Center therapist, Gisela, which helped a lot. I could finally communicate with someone who would hear me out without judging me. Being pregnant, and then a mom, so young, people look at you with this face, like, “Oh my God, she had a baby.” You feel so judged all the time. But therapy was a place where that wasn’t true. Therapy also helped me in every single relationship, because Gisela helped me learn how to talk things out and express myself.

The home visiting program also showed me that there was a whole world out there. My first home visitor, Ms. Cindy, took me and other kids in the program on trips. We really enjoyed ourselves. I’d never been to a theater or a multiplex, and when she took us, I was like, Wow. She took us to the boardwalk, to see the Manhattan skyline, Governor’s Island…. It was amazing.

Teen Time was another way I got to meet people the same age, interact with them, and have fun without being judged.

But one of the most important things The Child Center helped me learn was how to be a good mom to my son. I had my baby boy five days before my 15th birthday. He was born at 34 weeks and had a lot of medical issues. Eventually, it turned out he was having developmental delays, and in 2014, he was diagnosed with autism. I was heartbroken. I thought it was my fault and wanted to give up; I felt like I’d already failed as a parent. But my mental health worker, Ms. Brenda, explained that sometimes these things happen, and I was going to have to be mature enough and strong enough to deal with it for my son’s sake. She showed me how to research, fill out paperwork, and ask questions. I wasn’t the type of person to ask questions; I was the kind of person who wanted to pretend nothing was wrong. But Ms. Brenda helped me deal with my son’s diagnosis, and now I know how to advocate for him.

Even with all this going on, it was still important to me that I finish high school, and Ms. Brenda helped me transfer to a high school that had child care. It wasn’t easy being a mom, working, and going to high school, especially with all my son’s doctor appointments and his being sick a lot. But I did it: I graduated high school, and today I’m a student at Queensborough Community College.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I feel like it’s going to be big. I want to become an ultrasound technician, and I’m working toward my associate’s degree and training. I’m on track to graduate next year.

There were times I was going to give up on college, but Ms. Brenda pointed out to me, “Look how strong you are. Look what you’ve been through already — you were tough enough to get through that.” That’s stayed with me. I know I am that strong.

I like that I’m a good role model for my niece and nephews and my little brother. I can set an example for them and tell them to stand up for themselves. With my brother, I’m able to help him communicate with my parents, the way I learned how through the home visiting program. I had so much anger toward my parents; Ms. Brenda helped me see that I couldn’t change them, but I could learn to communicate with them, and ignore certain things when I needed to.

My son is five now. It’s tough to arrange everything, but I try to be consistent, stay involved in his therapy and education and go to all the parent-teacher conferences. I’m not afraid to ask questions.

Sometimes I get sad and wonder, “Why is my son like this?” This isn’t the way I wanted him to be. But then I remember to go forward. It may not be the way I wanted it to be, but I have so many more years to love my son. There were times I wanted to give up, but I’d think of my son, and I persevered for him. Someday I want to tell him that I achieved everything for him, and I want to give him a diploma one day. I see big things for him, too.


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